Weary of Blogger..

 I cannot tell u how many times I tried blogging and uploading pics last year and failed. So here I am testing to see if it works nowwwww.... I'm now an out-of-practice blogger!

Seriously, I've tried many many many times in the past year! Something not right with blogger app. Dodgy.

Noone blogs anymore. That, in my opinion, really sucks!

I've been off so long, the eldest is my height now. I'm not kidding. Look for yourself. 

Wait! I doubt anyone reads this blog anymore anyways hahahahaaa....

Of Desires and Realities in 2017

Wow wow and wow. Would you believe it if I told you I dream of writing on this blog nearly every other day. And I know I didn't and haven't, but the heart continues to yearn.

The kids are growing too fast. Ilan doesn't sound like a little kid anymore. In fact he sounds much like the school-going kid that he is. Sobssss

And Gibran. Gosh where do I start. Gibran started stinking a little like a teenage boy. And he's started sulking a little too (a little much...??!) just like a teenage boy. Not merely preteen. Urgh the world is an ugly ugly place when you realise your innocent baby is growing into an annoying pre-adolescent.

I never even mentioned the homeschooling thing did I??? Well blogger app is one of the worst app I've ever used and the few times I tried blogging in 2016, and the posts hung or disappeared so I gave it up. Anyway let's see if I can return to this old habit. I hope I can.

So yes. Gibran is homeschooled. Since September 2016. He's pretty much finished grade 6 lessons. And he's only 10. Ilan suddenly learned to read on his own (in school la I guess lolllllllll he just came back reading really smoothly!).. and is surprising me everyday just how academic he is masya Allah. He goes to this tiny, home-based kindy in ttdi. Such a contrast from the kindies I chose for gibran years ago. How much I've changed as a mum!

Time. So... Untouchable. Yet we still strive to hold on to some remnants of it.

Another Year

New year. 2016. This blog is unbelievably old. And sometimes forgotten. But just because you forget something, doesn't mean you've lost your affection for it.

In November, I ran my first 10km marathon ever since I had Ilan.

When we were leaving the rented airbnb apartment, we saw the sunrise.

How can there not be a God?? 

If you look carefully, there is beauty and rahmat in so many things. 

Watching the sunrise from the Penang Bridge, I vowed to take better care of this body. This body itself is one of God's biggest gifts to us. It is an amanah for us to care for. 

So with Ilan safely under the care of the wonderful wonderful teachers in Twinkle.Kids. T.T.D.I. (what luck that we found such  a great place!) ... I go aqua running 3 or 4 times per week. It's the perfect solution! I easily reach 10 km in that hour I spend in the water, with so little effect on the good ol' spine and the knees. Yes, knees. As I grow older and the extra 10 kgs have not dropped off, my knees have been giving slight problems since the second pregnancy.

With a better mum, the family is better too. Alhamdulillah. 

The kids have a better mum to deal with everyday. Exercise makes you somewhat more... cheery. 

So I guess that could be my new year's resolution (accept that I made mine some time in october lol...)...

And as the year goes by, the kids grow bigger and bigger. All too fast. 

Naughtier by the day. Oooops! Errr cheekier I mean. 

The twosome who go crazy whenever they bump into a karaoke machine. Ilan only knows how to sing Satu Malaysia song. Hahahahaaa so hillarious... He learned it in school.

Bujang! Goshhhh.... besar. 

Don't be deceived by the look of innocence.

May God send good things to us in 2016.

Yusuf Ren

Since middle December, Ilan has been on and off unwell. When he gets congested, as usual to Assunta we will go for nebulizer. The cough was such a contagious one. All of us got it! Even Gibran who has grown Masya Allah to have a resilient immune system.

He calls himself Yusuf Ren. Adik beradik Kylo Ren. 

Of course I worry. At times too much. But if there's one thing that I learned from all the times Gibran had the same problem when he was little... is the fact that the kid has to be allowed to live as normally as possible. Alhamdulillah 'ala kulli hal. All praises to Allah over every thing.

May Allah make them healthy, good, strong Muslims. Ameen! 

Legoland Addicts

For Gibran's 7th birthday, we bought annual passes to Legoland Msia. So for a whole year we went to Legoland sooo many times (and even spent a couple of nights at the hotel as we got some discounts as annual pass holders)... that I nearly got sick of it.

A couple of months back, H's grandma decided to move back to Johor and to motivate ourselves to go back to Johor often... we got ourselves annual passes again. The boys are excited of course but I'm just about all blearghed out. Bleargh. Oh well at least we dont have to worry about what to do during long holidays hehehhee....

The one disturbing thing for me is the fact that at 4 years old, Ilan still is too short for a lot of the rides. He hasn't quite reached 90 cm yet. I'm worried of course. But he is such a smart, healthy boy. Just.... petite. It might be his steroids nose spray for his adenoids problems. Only God knows. But I hope he'll grow out nicely.

All is always good with this Legoland addict.

One of the few rides that he can actually ride on. 

Easily content, he spent hours with legos and such. Alhamdulillah this little fella loves activities that require a lot of focus and patience. 

Stop! In the name of love.

Sometimes that's what I feel like saying to life. Stop! You're goin too fast!

But nope. That ain't gonna change anything.

So few entries this year. Looking at the blog can bring tears to my eyes! Most people I knew back then from 9 years ago when I started this blog, have stopped blogging. If you ask me, I'd say no sir, no sirree... I'm not gonna stop.

But time....

So now, most of the time I have to be content recording the scenes of life in my head. I know it's not permanent, but then nothing is really permanent.

Ilan turned 4.

Four!!!

My baby, my youngest, turned four. Too fast. I still treat him like a baby because he's the last baby I'd have.

He started school in September, and masya Allah, all praises to Allah, he loves it so far. It was fate that I passed by this small home-run kindy in tmn tun, and decided that day that I'd stop by and enquire. I'd been eyeing them since gibran was small but never bothered enquiring. And well, waddaya know.... their otherwise filled-up 4 year old class just had an opening that week because a kid left for an international preschool. And they're priced so reasonably too. And the teachers are so kind and gentle! I was devastated when we tried sending him to school in January '15 and it didn't take. Again and again God has shown me that His plans are indeed best and beyond our understanding or comprehension. Subhaanallah. 

So the first week he started school, we celebrated his birthday in school. He had soooo much fun! Every month they have a celebration for those whose bday falls in that month. Although Ilan's bday was technically august, since he'd just started school they were keen on him to join in the celebration. And what a celebration it was. He was sung to, he played games, he had cakes, and his favourite teacher (Teacher Suli) cuddled him all day. 

And Gibran. Gibran turned 9.

NINE.

Astaghfirullah. Forgive me God, for my shortcomings and guide me to raise these boys well.

For time is passing so quickly. I can't grasp it! One day i feel like I'm doing my best, and the next day I'm frankeinmummy! 

But anyway, I digress as always.

We brought him out for a laser tag and mcdonalds session with his classmates/friends and cousins. Notice the boy on the right (striped shirt). That's ayden! Yes they're still friends til now. From the notorious preschool days.

I was not too keen about spending so much $$$$ on a birthday outing, but oh my the boys were so happy, and they ate a mountain of food at mcdonalds. Obviously they don't get mcdonalds often? Hahahaa.. seriously, most of their mums are quite health conscious and particular about processed foods. Yours truly included. Anyway, seeing the mess they made after the mcd session... I'll be eternally grateful that I didnt decide to hold a party at home instead. Yikes. That would've been super stressful.

Too many stories to update on, of course, but hopefully those stories will hold for next time. In other entries. Yes I hope there will be more entries. And more... and more and more.

Gibran's classmate's mother passed away about a month ago. Nine, and already without a mother.

This blog may be nothing. Or something. Maybe one day the kids will read it and remember things they don't remember anymore. Things that were.

Maybe they'd remember me.

Allahummarghfirlahawarhamha. O' Allah, forgive her and bless her. Mother of AfZal.

Picture shows the family during Aidilfitri of 2015. 

The Electronic Babysitter: Mr TeeVee

I will bluntly admit this; i do use the tv to babysit the kids. Never thought i would, but hey that is in the ideal (unrealistic) world. Maidless mums with young kids who dont use the tv as sitters are nothing short of surreal. To me. 

Anyways, somewhere along the way we just got sick of the cartoons they show on astro. Rude, with little moral values, and simply pointless. So a few months ago we did something we thought we never could... 

We got rid of our astro. 

And bought ourselves a chromecast, and iflix. Yayyyy

So now we watch what we want, when we want. Amazingly the kids watch less tv now. They love youtube videos on minecraft, and sometimes, amazingly, they voluntarily watch documentaries. 

I feel like i've cut off a chain... Of something. And it feels so good not to have proper broadcast tv. 

Maybe one day I will have the guts to finally unschool the kids. 

Shhhhhyeeeeeahhhhhhh....

A girl can dream. Of an ideal world. 

Ilan drawing monsters with the peace and quiet of no-broadcast-tv.